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September 12, 2014

Finding Out & Telling Him

Baby Memories
The story of how we found out that we were expecting our newest little bundle of joy is one that I wasn't sure would happen at all. After being diagnosed with two separate conditions that are both known to cause fertility problems and trying for a time without success, I wasn't sure that my body could even conceive again. Truth be told, there were tears shed over the fact that I didn't know if I would ever be able to carry another child and the ache that I had to have another baby simply wasn't going away.

After trying unsuccessfully, I took yet another test. Against all the odds, I was hoping that somehow I was pregnant. The test was negative and I was crushed. I spent the day moping around the house and indulging my self-pity while ignoring the laundry pile and feeding my emotional need for chocolate. Truth be told, beyond simply hoping that we were pregnant, I had hoped to share the exciting news of another child with Jonathan, as we had a special date night planned for the next evening. I had even gone to the trouble of ordering a special card to tell him the news, with the hopes that I would be able to use it someday.

That evening, having used up the last of my stash of pregnancy tests, I dragged my butt to Target to pick up a few essentials, including more tests for the following month. I think I stood in front of the test section for a solid fifteen minutes, debating how many tests to buy. Should I be optimistic and buy the single test? The three-pack? Or should I embrace my emotional deluge from the day and buy the economy pack of tests?

Spoiler alert: I bought the jumbo pack. I was set for life. I would never run out of pregnancy tests again.

The next morning rolled around and I found myself feeling a little less desperate. Still, knowing that I wouldn't be able to share any exciting news with Jonathan on our special date was a little bittersweet. After debating for awhile, I finally justified taking another pregnancy test. I figured that since I was never going to run out of tests, I could stand to waste one just to be sure I wasn't pregnant.

I drummed my fingers on the counter for a full three minutes, unable to peek as I waited for the results. The three minutes seemed like an eternity and I finally looked. The first thing I saw in the digital window was the word pregnant. I literally didn't believe my eyes. I grabbed the test and examined the results window up close, convinced that it was a trick of the light and the words not pregnant would appear at any moment. Finally, I sat down in complete shock. In three minutes, my life had changed. I was no longer a mama to two little kids, but three. All those nights of praying and asking God to give us another child had not gone unheard. Our prayers had been answered and I held the proof there in my hands.

That night as the two of us sat alone at a quiet dinner, I gave Jonathan the card that told him he would be a father again. It was a sweet moment for the two of us, one that we'll both remember forever as we sat there, wondering about our baby and how our family would change in the coming months.

Looking back, it was the perfect way to find out that we are now a family of five. Jonathan and I got to enjoy our news quietly as a couple and I have enough pregnancy tests stashed away in my closet to have a whole herd of children after this one makes an appearance!

Just kidding, grandparents. Three is plenty for now!


  1. So nice to hear this story and know that our card was a part of such a special moment in your expanding family's life. :)


    1. So glad I got to use your card for such a special time!!

  2. omg it's so awesome! Congratulations to you!!!