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September 12, 2011

Overheard at the Mall

Recently I took Evelyn and ventured out to the Mall of America, also known as the seventh circle of hell if you are unfortunate enough to be there on a Saturday with a stroller. For that reason alone, I have made it my personal policy never to be within ten miles of that mall on any day that could possibly be construed as an excuse for people to flock to the retail orgies like moths to the flame. Unfortunately, the recent changes to my body (hello, second baby) necessitated a couple new articles of clothing so I was coerced into breaking my own rule and found myself joining the throngs of people navigating the sales.

[This is the part of the post where I have a panic attack thinking about CROWDS. EVERYWHERE. PEOPLE. GERMS. ON MY NEW BABY.]

While I was dousing myself and the stroller handle in Purell every three seconds, Evelyn and I made our way into the fitting room of a certain retail store where I overheard the following conversation between a saleswoman and a customer. Normally, I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but this particular conversation just begged to be shared with the entirety of the Internet. For your reading pleasure, the obscenity of retail at it's finest:

Saleswoman: [Measuring a customer for a bra] Okay... I would say that you're about a 36B here, but because of the shape of your body, you could also wear a 36C.

Customer: Okay.

Saleswoman: It depends. You see how your boobs are so saggy? If you want something with full coverage, go with the 36C.

Customer: Um, okay.

Saleswoman: See, this part of your body is really masculine, but I think you could still wear a 36C.

Throughout the entire conversation, that poor customer just went right along with it. And the only thing I could think (besides OH MY GOSH IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING!?) was that I was so grateful that saleswoman hadn't had the nerve to say the same thing to the freshly hormonal new mom or I would probably be appearing on the next episode of Mall Cops. It's the small things in life, right?

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