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May 20, 2011

Electrocution and Condiments at Dinner

Despite my undying love for using my husband's power tools on the sly, I think we've established that technology- any kind of technology at all- and I do not mix. It should have been the eleventh commandment or, at the very least, tattooed in a prominent place on my body where complete strangers could kindly remind me of this fact. Remember the video camera debacle? Or the baby monitor setup? And let's not neglect one of the most basic forms of human technology to date, the kitchen knife.

Yesterday, I added yet another piece of technology to my avoidance list as I powered through a few projects in the toddler's soon-to-be big boy room. While committing the cardinal sin of toddlers everywhere by sticking my fingers into a live electrical box, I was quickly reminded that HELLO! EDISON DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY! AND IT STILL WORKS TODAY!

For the concerned members of the audience and not those of you rolling on the floor laughing at my stupidity right now, Peanut is just fine. The only injury suffered was a mortal wound to my pride, which is in large part due to the fact that my mother was on hand to assist in several key projects and to remind me that live electricity should not be trifled with while pregnant.

For her, the outlet stunt was nothing new. It's true, over the years this woman has put up with a lot from me: the sulky teenager, my discovery of a curling iron and wispy bangs, new piercings and tattoos upon my return from college, and perhaps a few of my less-tasteful jokes as an adult. So as a tribute to this wonderful woman and all of the shenanigans that she's endured over the years, I leave you all with our turkey burger dinner conversation.

Mom: I recently bought a pack of turkey burgers from the store and they were really good- especially out on the grill!

Me: Turkey burgers? Ugh. They sound awful. Did you at least put condiments on them?

Mom: I really don't care for that word.

Me: What word? Condiments?

Mom: Yes. [Pained sigh.]

Me: Um... okay. Ketchup and mustard then... with a squirt of KY on the side? [Uncontrollable laughter.]

Mom: You may be excused from the table now.

Despite the fact that we were sitting at MY kitchen table, this woman still knows exactly how to put me in my place, twenty-four years later. Love you, ma.

1 comment:

  1. Yikes! Hope you are ok! That conversation made me laugh out loud!