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March 16, 2011

Mommy Brain Part II: The Police Episode

I concluded my last post with the line "At least I can still remember where I put my car keys" and boy, was that an epic mistake. Not even twelve hours after that post went live, I ate every single one of those words.

Ever since my college days, I've driven a little Honda Accord. That car has seen me through good and bad, including two speeding tickets, one dead deer incident, and one very important drive to our local hospital. It runs like a charm, with the single exception being my remote locking mechanism. Unfortunately, when that remote had a little run-in with a concrete floor, the end result was somewhat less than desirable. Jonathan and I may have learned this the hard way.

Because I don't want to shell out the money to buy a new remote when we're already mining the lint from our pockets to buy another pack of diapers, the toddler and I have been functioning without a remote lock for an entire Minnesota winter. Imagine the fun of unlocking your car manually with blue, frostbitten fingers while holding a squirming toddler. Yippee!!!

Mercifully, winter is almost over and as my fingers have begun to thaw, we're pressing on with a few projects around the house, one of which is now at the point where it necessitated a trip to Home Depot in the Honda for a gallon of paint.

Thinking that I deserved some sort of mommy award for actually leaving the house before nap time, I loaded up the toddler and off to the store we went. Upon our arrival, I pulled the little man out of his car seat, shut the door, and glanced down to see my keys smirking at me through the back window.

Of course, I had already locked the car.

I sheepishly walked into Home Depot and purchased the paint, all the while calling my husband's various phone lines at the office. Naturally, this incident occurred over the lunch hour when Jonathan The Exercise Fanatic was out for his daily run. Thus, my phone call was directed to his boss by the ever so helpful front desk.

Bless that man, I'm sure that he thought that there had been some sort of near-death emergency because I was too horribly embarrassed to explain the whole situation. To his credit, he ran all over the building trying to track down my husband, but with no avail. I then proceeded to leave a quasi-panicked voicemail for my husband with no information about the situation except to CALL IMMEDIATELY because I'm sweet and considerate like that.

Of course the folks at Home Depot, upon hearing of my plight, were sympathetic, but couldn't offer any type of assistance because no one wanted to risk incurring the wrath of the pregnant woman in the event that they damaged my car (also, liability issues). That left me only one option... handing the baby my phone and employing his awesome 9-1-1 skills.

This is the part where the police officer came and showed a very excited Nathaniel his Cool! Radio! and Shiny! Badge! while I did my best not to make eye contact with any other living soul in the parking lot. It took a few minutes, but I will forever be grateful to that nice officer who saved both nap time and my sanity by jamming a metal pole into my car and pressing the unlock button.

But I now owe the toddler a Shiny! Badge! of his own because upon reentering the car, he reached the keys first. And since he has recently been struck with an horrific disease commonly known as toddlerhood, I was forced to concede the issue. It was either the keys or the badge and I choose the lesser of two evils.

Mommy brain made me do it.

1 comment:

  1. Damn mommy brain!

    I think I forgot stuff all the time because I am so focused on not leaving the kids somewhere or forgetting to brush their teeth, wipe butt, etc etc.
    Awesome, or not awesome I guess, lol.