How to Destroy Your House for $2.89

Overall, I'm a pretty good shot. I'm fairly competent with a handgun and can use one well enough to ensure that we won't ever be robbed. As for shooting with a paintball gun? Well, let's just say that I learned to play that game with a group of teenage boys. You learn quickly under those circumstances.

One thing that I'm apparently not so competent with, unfortunately, is aiming a bottle of hair color. I know, I know. Quite the departure from a redneck joyride to prissy, girly topics, but bear with me.

Earlier this week, I was coloring my hair in the bathroom while Nathaniel was awake, which was something far more challenging than I care to admit. In order to keep the peace and quiet of our house from erupting into tantrums and screaming fits, I put the baby gate up and was applying the hair dye with the bathroom door open. This was largely a success as Nathaniel could see me and was generally satisfied that I wasn't holed up in the bathroom eating bunny crackers or chocolate without him.

Unfortunately, leaving the bathroom door open created a bit of an issue when it came to the hair color itself. I had followed the directions perfectly. I was wearing my plastic gloves. I had mixed the bottles together. I was applying as directed.

The one thing that good ol' $2.89 Revlon could not predict? My aim. As I squirted that bottle of color into my hair to cover some pretty obvious exposed roots, I apparently missed my head altogether. The dye landed on my carpet.

My white carpet.

The instant I realized what had happened, I ran into the kitchen for a rag and some dish soap. With the baby looking on, I ran back and scrubbed. And scrubbed. And scrubbed. It did little good; the damage was already done.

The best part of this whole situation is that the splotches on my carpet are vaguely reminiscent of blood stains, which will come in useful next Halloween. It'll scare the kiddies. And at least I won't have to decorate.