November 17, 2010

Because Green is the New Black

I find myself discussing bodily fluids on the blog quite consistently and, to be honest, I am baffled by it all. Before having a child, the mere mention of vomit would send me running for the hills or the nearest bucket. Now? It's just another day at the office.

I'm used to dealing with a little spit-up here and there. Those first few months after we brought Nathaniel home from the hospital were an excellent excuse to purchase new rain gear because my child was a champion spitter. To his credit, it usually occurred where you least expected it which is why the corners of my living room carpet are now suspiciously spotty.

This afternoon, however, was an entirely new ball game. No longer are we in the realm of a little spit here and there. It's time to break out the hurricane gear. Big kid land, here we come.

I put the baby down for his second nap of the day and after turning on the Sleep Sheep, he calmed down and lay there quietly. Rejoicing in the purchase of my hour of freedom and thanking my lucky stars for the genius invention of white noise machines, I set out to the kitchen to clean and prop up my feet with yet another soda.

But then Nathaniel stood up and started to cry after laying in his crib for a good fifteen minutes. Which never bodes well for naptime.

I walked into his room, ready to stick the nuk back into his mouth and give him another stuffed animal to snuggle- anything to lull him to sleep so we could get through dinner without tired screams. But as I laid him back down, my hand touched something wet and slimy.

It was green. It was goey. And it was all over the crib.

It was green vomit. And let me tell you, it didn't smell like spit-up; it was clearly in the realm of The Stomach Virus Puke Smell. The one that used to make me gag and hurl at the mere suggestion.

They weren't lying when they said that motherhood changes a lot of things; for this, I was grateful as I began cleaning the mess.

Whether or not this latest adventure was caused by a stomach virus or something at lunch that didn't agree with the baby has yet to be determined. But seeing as how I've been getting a lot of sloopy wet, open-mouth baby kisses the last few days, if it's a stomach virus, you'll all be the first to know.

Until then, I'm off to scrub green beans out of the crib bumper. All the while I will be pondering the question of which bodily fluid we will encounter next in this parenting journey. The suspense is killing me.

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