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October 20, 2010

Please Pass the Ibuprofen

I can be awfully lazy. In fact, my idea of a perfect Saturday night includes renting three or four movies, snuggling up on the couch with a fleece blanket, and staring at the glowing box for six or seven hours. While stuffing my face with cheesy popcorn, of course.

Like most people who have cultivated a delicate balance between motherhood, chores, and laziness, I have always hoped to find a justifiable reason to avoid the treadmill or that three-day old stack of dishes that's growing some form of alien life in the dinner remnants.

Dude, I found my reason.

If you follow me on Twitter, you probably heard that I spent the night in the hospital. (Seriously, tweeting from the ER? That's dedication right there.) Now, the fact that I was the one in the hospital and not my child, is an irony that isn't lost on me. Remember my last post? The one about how I expect to be frequently bringing my son to the ER? Apparently I beat him to the punch.

I had been having some pretty awesome abdominal pain the past few days so I finally called a nurse line for an opinion. Oh, and by awesome pain I mean blinding, doubling-over, gasping kind of pain. The kind that makes chasing after a very mobile child the last thing you want to do because it requires moving.

The nurse line recommended heading straight for the nearest ER, so as soon as the hubs walked in the door and could watch the baby, off I went.

Now, I know this is true of all Emergency Rooms, but there's always a long wait. Unless you're bleeding profusely or your guts are spilling out of your ears, finding a moderately comfortable chair where you can park it for the next few hours is a necessity. So while I waited my obligatory three hours, trying all the while not to move and make the pain worse, I entertained myself with my phone. And watching all of my fellow ER folk, like Burned Hand Guy or Gauze Head Guy or, my personal favorite, Sad Football Kid.

When I finally made it back to a room and saw the doctor, she ordered a few tests- a pelvic exam and an ultrasound. At this point, I would like to take a moment to say that no, I am not pregnant. Just clearing that up.

By the time the fourth hour rolled around, I had discovered that the hospital had HGTV which is my all-time favorite station that we don't get at home. Seriously, all I would've needed was some cheesy popcorn and enough pain medication to tranquilize a horse and I would have been in heaven.

My luck didn't hold for the cheesy popcorn because about that time I was rolled down to the ultrasound room where I met the tech who looked at my insides. On a side note, this guy was good. Really good. Because he clearly knew that something was seriously screwed with my whole pelvic area, but he didn't say a thing. In fact, from his facial expressions, I would have thought everything was normal had I not been in blinding pain every time I had to stand.

After the ultrasound was all finished up, I was rolled back to my room where I impatiently waited for the doctor as I watched another three episodes of House Hunters. When the doctor finally came in and gave me the results, she informed me that not only was I lucky enough to have a urinary tract infection, but all the pain I'd experienced over the last few days was due to the fact that I am also the proud owner of an ovarian cyst.

Oh the joy.

After I was finally discharged at 11:30 at night and drove home to my family, I tried to remind myself that it could have been worse. I got antibiotics for the UTI and the doctor is hopeful that the cyst will clear up on its own. And the genuinely good news? This shouldn't interfere with fertility so the next time that Jonathan looks my way, it'll be just as easy to get knocked up as it was the first time.

So as much as I'm enthralled by my brand new reason to nest on the couch, I do hope that it goes away quickly. You know, motherhood calls. But in the meantime, please pass the ibuprofen.


  1. i've been there! same exact thing! mine ended up clearing up - you should be just fine. they told me not to exersise either which gave me a good reason to lay on the couch too.

  2. No fun! And it's too bad they don't give sick days to SAHMs. Hope you feel better soon!

  3. I hope you're feeling A-ok very soon!!

  4. thats terrible. i hope u feel better very soon!

  5. i hate going to ER. i've had my fair share of visits & never had a good experience :(

    i am happy you are ok & it wasn't anything too serious!

  6. I agree with the first post, you should be fine :D I had an ovarian cyst that blew open my left ovary, it was HUGE THOUGH and I still have a baby and my ovary is just fine :D Hope you feel better soon!

  7. Ugh. No fun - I used to get UTI's all the time - I swore that I'd rather die than ever have one again.

    ((hugs)) feel better soon!

    p.s. The blog is looking great - really cute!