September 24, 2010

The Things I Don't Worry About

With the Similac recall, I am reminded of the fact that mothers have enough to worry about without wondering if their child will become ill from drinking tainted formula. Truth be told, wondering if the baby food I purchase is safe certainly isn't what is typically on my mind when I'm trying to keep my baby from climbing out of the shopping cart and making a break for the dairy aisle.

So in honor of Similac and all the moms who will be worrying about beetle juice next time they give their child a bottle, here is a list of things that are no longer worries in our home, or hopefully, in yours:

1. A sudden toy shortage. Given the number of Made In China labels which are about to stage a coup and take over our house, the amount of plastic which has invaded our lives over the past 9 months could easily support Fisher Price for the next 6 years.

2. The noise. Although he emerged from the womb with a set of lungs which rival a foghorn, I am proud to say that I can still be louder than my child. That said, due to the fact that mealtime often brings about screams that are mistaken for a jet breaking the sound barrier, I don't expect to hold the record for long.

3. Finding a babysitter. With both sets of grandparents ready to fight mano a mano over the opportunity to watch my child fill a diaper in record-breaking time, finding a date night isn't a challenge. Unless the grandparents fight to the death, in which case random strangers will be drafted for babysitting duties. Consider yourselves warned.

4. The college fund. The hubs and I have approximately 17 years, 340 days, and 16 hours before we need to begin worrying about that topic. Please note that paying off my own student loans does not appear anywhere on this list. Thank you, Bethel.

5. The next poop blowout. Why worry? It's almost the weekend and that means that Jonathan will be home. HEY-O!

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