September 13, 2010

Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go Right Now

It's splashed all over the television- baby poop here, elderly incontinence there. Creepy stick figures with wire hair and full bladders. To think, I hadn't realized that copper wiring needs a potty break. But while the wiring in your home may be aching for a trip to the toilet, I think it's safe to say that a certain someone of the infant variety no longer needs that break. Not after this weekend. Not after THAT diaper change.

From those first few months of bleary-eyed diaper changes at 3am, our family has chosen to use cloth diapers. We have used BumGenius, CuteyBaby, FuzziBunz, Kissaluvs, and even a homemade diaper from a friend. It saved us a ton of money... and given the way that my child goes through diapers, I think we just extended the life of our planet by a few centuries.

In order to make it cost-effective with our budget, we didn't use a diaper service. Having seen the enormity that fills the baby's diapers on a regular basis, when our pediatrician heard that we were washing the diapers ourselves, he promptly keeled over and had a heart attack. When he came back to life, he gushed over how amazing it was that WE were washing the diapers. I was all, YES, I KNOW. YOU MAY KISS MY FEET AND WORSHIP THE GROUND UPON WHICH I STAND.

As much as I enjoy the regular prostration and sacrificial offerings, events of late have brought me to the point of concession. And I am now widely admitting to the Internet that I have been bested... by our diapers.

It's a travesty, I know, but how my child manages to leak out of every single diaper we own is absolutely beyond me. And after a few weeks of stuffing our diapers so full of liners that my child resembled the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man, I was on my knees and begging for a way to stop the incessant fountain of pee that overflowed from the diapers and dirtied more than a few pairs of pants.

Now, for all of the Diaper Know-It-Alls who are just chomping at the bit to suggest ANOTHER LINER! I feel compelled to remind you that it is physically impossible to fit a fourteenth liner into the diapers. Unless wearing pants is not a priority. And given that we live in what is frequently known as Long Underwear Country, pants aren't optional unless you fancy a case of frostbite and gangrene. Unfortunately, both of those conditions are generally frowned upon for small children.

So after much deliberation and a rather sobering look into our weekly budget, an act which always requires a pair of handcuffs and a stiff drink (although not in the preferably kinky way), the hubs and I made a hard choice:

(The earth-friendly hippies may now exit the post, lest you fall out of your chairs and become tempted to sue me for damages after reading the following sentence.)

Our baby is wearing DISPOSABLES! Is my excitement coming through? DISPOSABLES! DISPOSABLES! DISPOSABLES!

Now, I know that DISPOSABLES! are about as eco-friendly as an atomic bomb or a Twinkie, but keeping my mountain of laundry below the St.Paul radar floor is more important to me than a few extra dollars at the checkout. And truth be told, chasing a naked, runaway baby down the hall with a pair of socks in one hand and a shirt in the other, while clenching a clean diaper between my teeth, is the kind of magic trick I can only perform once a day.

Up until this weekend, DISPOSABLES! seemed to be handling the load with admirable ease. Pampers was taking one for the team with nary a leak.

And then Houdini decided that being dry is apparently overrated.

How he did it, I will never know. But somehow... SOMEHOW... he squirmed around just enough where he successfully removed half of the diaper WHILE HE WAS FULLY DRESSED. Need I explain what happened next?

It involved a lot of liquid. And the kind of passing-the-buck that would've made the any politician salivate. Because neither the hubs or myself had put that diaper on the baby. And neither of us hadn't strapped it on tight enough.

After The Great Diaper Escape of 2010, my enthusiasm for DISPOSABLES! was somewhat diminished, but short of the invention of a bath towel-sized cloth diaper, Pampers are the most sensible solution for us at the moment. It may not be eco-friendly and it's certainly not the popular choice to make, but it comes down to the question of what is best for our family. And in the end, isn't that what parenting is all about?

6 comments:

  1. Honey, don't feel bad about needing to take a break. We've been on a cloth diaper break pretty much all summer. It was just too hot to be doing all that laundry!! ; p

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  2. What brand are you guys using? If you go to coupons.com you can get a ton to Huggies coupons. If you are using pampers, you can find coupons in the Sunday paper, usually when the P&G flyer comes out.

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  3. My little bundle of pee-pee is usually drenched every morning also. Add in that early morning poop, and we usually have a MESS on our hands! Pampers Baby Dry are the only ones that keep him relatively dry through the night. Yay for disposables!

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  4. There's nothing wrong with a CD break, but if you're still interested in CD'ing you might try using a wool cover (even right over your pocket dipes). Might be a bit bulky (not more than extra inserts), but it should stop the leaks!

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  5. Thanks for all of the encouragement, guys! We're using Pampers right now, since we had nothing but leaks when we tried Huggies- I'll have to keep my eyes peeled for coupons!

    Also, I love the idea of the wool cover over the pocket diapers! We never tried that solution, but I've seen those covers when I shop for CDs. I might have to pick one or two up and give them a try! Thanks!

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  6. OH I love it! I proudly used Pampers as well. I figure I saved a ton of water by not having to wash out the cloth ones.

    PS. It was great to meet you at the conference this weekend!

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