July 8, 2010

Meeting Captiain Hook

Typically, I write about things that have happened recently in our lives with the babe. But since this story has been on my mind lately, I thought I would share it for your amusement. And if you're a member of PETA, you probably don't want to read this. Just saying.

I grew up in northern Minnesota, in the Duluth/Superior region. While Duluth was a fantastic place to grow up, it's counterpart across the bridge, Superior, Wisconsin, can aptly be described as the armpit of the Midwest. Every second business is a bar and it isn't a place you hope to be stranded sans cell phone as a young woman at 17.

I was on my way home from hanging out with some of my high school friends and it was just after dark. Since I was in Superior (where drunk people are notorious for doing things only drunk people can do) I was driving very carefully and, I will have you all know, it was one of the few times that I was NOT speeding. For this, I am grateful. Because what followed was a flash of two eyes, fur, and a very large THUD.

I hit a deer.

There had been no time to react and I had run over Bambi. It didn't come as a huge surprise because trying to avoid deer in northern Minnesota is like trying to run between raindrops, but because I had never before encountered this kind of adventure while driving by myself, I immediately pulled my parents' car over to the side of the road. In the darkness, I did my best to assess the damage to the car as I puzzled over what to do next.

Meanwhile, one of my best friends was five minutes behind me and was driving down that same road. As she got closer, she saw what appeared to be a large cardboard box lying in the middle of the road. Her reaction? RUN IT OVER, BABY.

But it wasn't a cardboard box. It was the deer that was still lying in traffic.

She hit Bambi and dragged him a good 30 feet before he detached from the undercarriage of her car and she was able to pull over. Together, as two high school girls without cell phones, we inspected our cars and wondered what to do.

That was when HE arrived.

As we stood clueless by our cars, a man pulled off the side of the road, got out of his truck and, I KID YOU NOT, the first thing I noticed was the hook. Where his right hand should have been, there was a large, metal hook.

It was like a scene out of a slasher film.

But Captain Hook didn't reach into his pickup truck for a large hunting knife; instead, upon seeing our predicament, he handed me a cell phone, which we used to call the police and tell them about the dead deer. And then the three of us stood in an awkward little circle and waited for the cops. And waited. But, being that we were in Superior at night, they clearly had bigger fish to fry. So Hook used his metal appendage to drag the deer off the road so no other oncoming drivers would mistake it for a large, cardboard box.

And then the three of us parted ways, us girls thanking God and our lucky stars that Captain Hook hadn't turned out to be an axe murderer. And as soon as I got home, I told my parents that I needed a cell phone.

1 comment:

  1. Yikes! That's pretty scary - I'm glad Captain Hook turned out to be such a nice guy. Thank God for cell phones, huh?

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