July 6, 2010

Guest Post: Heir to Blair Meets Adventures of the Stay At Home Mom

I first heard of Blair during my days on The Bump when I was sporting a very large, pregnant belly. And then I found Heir to Blair, which has become one of my daily reads. Now, Blair is one of my favorite bloggers, openly discussing postpartum depression, her love for cupcakes, and the ups and downs of being a working mother with thousands of readers. So when she agreed to do a guest blog spot on Adventures of the Stay At Home Mom, I did one of those embarrassing 13-year-old girl squeals and parked my butt in front of my computer to watch for her email. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what she wanted to share with all of you.

Disclaimer: ahhh, the glorious stay-at-home-mom versus working-mom debate. Thankfully, this is SO NOT THAT.

Oh, maternity leave. How I semi-loathed you while on it but now desperately miss you. Especially the very first, sweet days. I miss the mornings where sunlight streamed in as I sipped on a hot cup of coffee over a napping, swinging baby, knowing it didn't get any better. How I miss the sweet songs of the lamb swing, lullybing my fresh babe to sleep under a fluffy, freshly-laundered blanket! I miss the yoga pants, watching Ellen, & lunch with my girls & their babies.

(side note: I know this is not the daily life you SAHM's live. So I am not belittleing the work you do.)

Then all hell broke loose with reflux & the early days of glorious, "relaxing" maternity leave turned into full-time mom with barely-washed hair & piles of laundry waiting. I do not miss being screamed at every waking moment. I could say that I don't miss being puked on, but that would be a lie. I'm still puked on, jut less often. I do not miss begging my child to take a bottle or a nap. Someone else does that for me now.

So yes, working has it's perks. I drink my coffee as I flip through email, 7 voicemails, & plan my daily docket. I can take my lunch hour to run errands sans baby, which sometimes makes working completely worth it for that one perk! But I still get puked on, screamed at, & argued with violently (from the baby's lungs, not mine) over sleep.

It simply happens less now than maternity leave. But some mornings when I'm quietly sipping coffee over a client's file, I miss those sweet, new days where I sipped coffee while soaking in my perfect new baby.

3 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to Blair's post here. I was on mat leave for 4 months and by the end of it, I was begging to go back to work. But after working for a year, and now being a SAHM for the summer, I'm not really looking forward to returning to work. I like drinking my coffee in my pj's while we watch The Wiggles instead of drinking my coffee from a travel mug, while wearing heels, and teaching about symbolism.

    ::sigh::

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  2. i have a (possibly) interesting perspective because i worked part-time 15 miles away from home for the first 6 months after having poppy, then got laid off and became a stay-at-home mom by default, and am currently a work-at-homer creating & selling on my etsy shop and running a local store's etsy shop!

    i personally don't miss anything about working away from home. everything about it added stress to my life and even though it was really awful being laid off, i am so relieved at not having to go back! i remember my first week back at my job after having p, several people commented that it must be nice to be away from baby and have adult-time. um, no. for me there was pretty much nothing positive about it. it made me really anxious to be away from my baby (even though it was only about 12 hours per week!) and i felt like each shift i put in dominated the entire day. that being said, i LOVE and CHERISH the times when, now that i work from home, a family member is willing to take over baby care for a bit so i can get work done. usually a couple of times a week i manage to score an hour or two of baby-free time to work and it is nothing short of amazing. i seriously love it each time - i grab an extra cup of coffee and get to finish the entire thing WHILE IT'S STILL HOT. i sew or converse with people online without having a 23-lb cuddlemonster pulling at my legs. i listen to music that doesn't include songs from yo gabba gabba or backyardigans. and i loooove it!

    so, yeah, what i'm getting at here is that working away from home was pretty much a disaster for me, but in a lot ways staying home and not working wasn't great either. making my own money, even if it isn't more than enough to buy occasional lattes and some cute outfits for poppy, is really important to me and i feel really proud to be simultaneously raising my girl and holding down the domesticity fort with a moderate level of success!

    and i could not agree with you more on how amazing those early weeks are - where no one, anywhere, expects you to do anything more than sleep as much as possible and stare at your baby for hours on end. almost makes me want to think about the next one so that i can reclaim those sweet, sweet days...

    almost. (;

    great post! xoxo!

    ~emily

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