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May 1, 2010

The One Where I Almost Become Friends with the Fire Marshal

Who knew that you could set your kitchen on fire making popcorn? That takes some very serious talent. You know, the kind of talent where you step back and look at with respect. Then you fist-pump all across the interwebs and hope your neighbors aren't peering into your windows at that exact moment.

This past weekend, the hubs and I decided to celebrate our Friday night by watching Avatar and popping popcorn once the babe was in bed. Because there is no better way to kick off your weekend than by watching blue people leap across your television while you shove buttery popcorn in your face. Seriously.

While the hubs was putting the baby down, I was in the kitchen doing battle with a small bonfire. It began by putting the cooking oil into our antique popcorn popper which may or may not have been my first mistake. At which point I turned the stove on. And because I wanted to heat the oil, I let it sit.

And sit.

And apparently, I let it sit too long. Because as I opened the top of the popper to pour in the kernels, there were suddenly flames. FLAMES, PEOPLE. IN MY KITCHEN.

Now I seriously considered grabbing the marshmallows and making myself a s'more. Or dancing around the fire singing Kumbaya. But in the end, I decided on a much more practical course of action.

I screeched.

Some sort of foreign, animalistic howl commandeered my mouth and out spewed an unearthly sound. To which my husband quickly came running into the kitchen.

And had the hubs (who is ever so practical about these sort of things) been there a moment sooner, he would have stopped my next move. Because surely no one would be so stupid as to put a burning hot pan directly under a running faucet.


In my defense, I usually wouldn't be quite so stupid. But let's face it, between a rabid combination of mommy-brain and my ongoing state of sleep-deprivation, I'm not at my best these days. Quite frankly, as long as I remember to put on clean underwear each morning, I consider the day a success.

As soon as the metal hit the water, it exploded in a brilliant display of steam and hot water droplets. My 7th grade science teacher would be so proud.

The hubs immediately grabbed the popcorn popper out of my hand amidst saying something along the lines of how I would ruin the metal if I stuck it under the water. And since he is the physics-minded half in the relationship, not the OH MY GOSH THE BABY IS SMILING/SLEEPING/BREATHING SO HAND ME THE CAMERA side, I took his word for it.

And once the smoke had settled and our kitchen aired out, I made popcorn for our movie. Without setting my kitchen ablaze.


  1. Too funny! I would have done the same thing - I see fire and think water.

  2. I just want to say that the antique popcorn popper was not to blame! Dad and I watched Avatar (or as I like to call it, "Fern Gully") on Friday night as well with a big bowl of popcorn, complements of our own antique popper. No flames, just popcorn bliss. Hmmm. I will happily make popcorn housecalls if needed.

  3. wow... just wow... your lucky (or maybe unlucky) that the fire alarm didn't go off + freak out little man... or maybe you should get that checked out...

  4. True! We actually have a fan right above our stove that I turned on right away- that sucked the smoke right up and out of the house. But had it been much worse, I'm sure the smoke would've gotten into the hall and the fire alarm would've gone off!!

  5. Oh my! Yeah, I would have had the same reaction. But..I think I would have froze instead of throwing the pan into the sink. I am scared of flames! No way I would have touched it!

  6. LOL. I'm glad you didn't really have to call the fire department!!