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May 31, 2010

Channeling Queen

This evening, I sat down with the usual suspects, my laptop and a Diet Pepsi, warmed up my fingers, and began writing a post about a new nickname which has recently begun circulating in our house.

Until there was a sudden pause and my HP laptop began having a seizure. Amidst the convulsions and foam spewing from the keyboard, I frantically tried to save my files. Good ol’ trusty HP then promptly overheated and died right there on my lap.

It will probably come as a disturbing fact to the computer-savvy individuals out there that this is not a rare occurrence in our house. In fact, the last few months have shown a steady decline in the well-being of HP, which has not boded well for the sanity and patience levels of one mother, being that impromptu shutdowns have become a daily occurrence.

In an unrelated note, if my neighbors are reading this, please know that any screaming you may have heard along the lines of DIE, YOU WRETCHED PIECE OF CRAP was not directed at you. (Unless you are the neighbor who was recently using a chainsaw during my son’s naptime. Then you should feel free to run and hide, lest I sic the sleepy baby on you.)

If this was the first time that it had happened, I assure you, I would not be so cavalier about it. In fact, I would be rushing my computer to the nearest repair shop, driving with one hand and performing compressions on my mouse pad with the other. I would be haphazardly parking my car in the nearest handicapped parking space and running into the store, demanding an oxygen mask and a power cord for my laptop.

But this is not the first time this has happened. Nor will it be the last.

So I grabbed the nearest box fan, pointed it straight at my computer, and turned it on full-blast. And once my hands weren’t spontaneously combusting when I touched the screen, I propped it up with our DVD player remote with little more than a prayer that it wouldn’t continue to overheat, and tried to finish typing.

The days of my good old HP are numbered. And when she eventually dies a horrific death that may appear to have been caused by a sledgehammer or an accident with a certain backyard kiddie pool, I have faith that the autopsy will exonerate me. So when y’all hear a resounding chorus of ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST, please raise your glasses with me in a toast to the memory of my HP.

To those of you who follow Adventures of the Stay At Home Mom on Google Reader, my sincerest apologies for the computer vomit which took place tonight, thus causing this post to appear multiple times in your feed. How fitting that my laptop would screw with me as I was writing THIS post.


  1. Okay, I think computer-related problems are among the most exasperating on the planet. The fact that you managed to keep from throwing it across the room is commendable.

  2. Hey Alyssa! Now I know you have a very computer-savvy hubby and all, so feel free to disregard any unwanted advice....but several months ago we had the same problem with our laptop shutting down all the time because it was overheating. We took in to the Geek Squad and the guy blew dust out of the fan and handed it back to us. That was it. It didn't cost us a penny and it hasn't shut down on us since.

  3. That is a great idea! Right now, I'm open to ANYTHING that might help. Thanks for the suggestion!