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April 18, 2010

Walking like a Lame Flamingo

I own several pairs of high heels. Because before I got pregnant, that was all I wore. Exclusively heels. All the ladies out there know that heels make your legs look good and since I'm not any too tall (5'5") I could get away with it.

Somewhere in the course of my high-heeled frenzy, I purchased a pair of bright red, sexy heels. And I love those shoes to this day. But you know what? I haven't worn them in over a year. Because as soon as I got pregnant and started showing, those babies went straight into retirement.

For those of you who remember reading about my experiences being pregnant and the belly the size o' Texas, it probably doesn't come as a big surprise to you that I got rather tipsy during my pregnancy. Tipsy as in falling over. Not throwing back one too many shots of Tequila.

I actually biffed it pretty badly twice during my pregnancy thanks to my love of knee-high socks and a tile floor. Not a good combination for the pregnant ladies. So I'm sure you all can imagine what a disaster it would've been to see me balancing in two-inch heels with a massive belly. SO glad we didn't go there.

But now that my belly has shrunk to a more manageable size, I'm seriously considering pulling my red shoes out of the back of my closet, despite the fact that you can spot a woman who's not used to wearing heels a mile away. You know, the one who walks like a lame flamingo.

So I may have to do a few practice runs with the heels around the house before stepping out with them. Because balancing a baby on top of those heels is going to be a challenge worthy of all the talent this stay at home mom can muster.


  1. I can relate to this! I used to wear heels ALL the time too. I could move in heels like the best of them. Now when I wear heels to church (only time I do now) I feel so silly, like I'm clomping around like a big horse. Ha.

  2. One look at those crazy ladies wearing heels + totting a little one scares me dearly. Yes, I know many just have that inate raw talent to balance, but it surely reminds me of my days working at the Childrens hospital ER in admitting... We had surprisingly MANY mothers that came in stating they had tripped or accidently dropped the child... And they were wearing heels with a big scrape on their leg...