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April 13, 2010

The Ultimate Horror Show

I don't do the dentist. Period. I would rather suffer some obscure form of torture than walk through the doors to a dental office. But because I love my husband and he did everything short of bribing me to go, I dragged myself to the dentist yesterday.

Lots of people hate going to the dentist and understandably so. Unless you're a sucker for pain, it's probably not something you enjoy doing.

My aversion to the dentist began as a child when I was informed that I had cross-bite. In order to fix this condition (and because he clearly hated children), the dentist attached a metal wire to the roof of my mouth. Unfortunately, every time I bit down, the wire cut into my tongue. To this day, I have the scars to prove it.

My dental experiences didn't improve much by the time I was in college. Because I was still on my parents' dental plan, I picked a dental office that I drove by regularly and went in for an appointment. Which was a huge mistake.

Purely by chance, I got the hygienist from hell. The woman clearly had sadistic tendencies because she had me in tears by the time she was done taking x-rays.

X-RAYS, PEOPLE. A supposedly painless process. But the hygienist was so rough and heartless that she continued to jam the x-ray device into my mouth with a force that brought me to tears. Needless to say, that was my one and only visit to that particular dental office.

And this is why my husband has to pull out all the stops to get me to go to the dentist. Because if it were up to me, I would sooner let my teeth rot right out of my head than to have someone scraping around in my mouth.

There is a dental office relatively close to our house. And after some very impressive negotiating on my husband's part, I caved and agreed to go.

The employees at that office were far too happy to be working with a dentist. In fact, I nearly asked if I could snag some of whatever illegal substance they were on before heading into the back room. I resisted. Be proud of me.

The hygienist scraped and poked. The dentist took one look at my mouth and told me everything looked great. And thus I was free of the dentist... for another 6 months at least. Maybe I could procrastinate my next trip until Nathaniel needs to have his teeth cleaned?


  1. I would love to go to the dentist!

  2. I am scared of the dentist too. I would cry and have to hold a stuffed animal- I'd squeeze it so hard my hands couuld be sore the rest of the day (mornings always help with wait time, which kills me!) I asked around and found someone that worked well with nervous patients, and I really trust them.

  3. Sky, next time I have to go, want to take my place? ;)