December 16, 2009

38 Weeks... The Saga Continues!


We are now 38 weeks pregnant and I am unsure of how to begin this blog entry. I could tell you all about the emotional roller coaster that I've been on this past week, waiting on our little boy. I could tell you about how my perspective toward this pregnancy has changed drastically over the past few weeks. Or I could simply sit here and stare at my belly as Baby G kicks and stretches; realizing that I won't have that in a very short time makes me want to enjoy this particular part of pregnancy to its fullest.

Looking back, this has been a challenging week. Several of my friends who have been expecting babies have gone into labor and delivered their little ones. While I am truly happy and excited for them, it's difficult to watch other people go through something that you want so badly yourself. That happened several times over the last week and although I'm trying to stay positive and trust that there is a reason that I'm still pregnant, it has become a daily challenge.

Despite the challenges, my perspective toward this pregnancy has changed drastically over the last few weeks and I am beginning to understand one of the reasons why I am still pregnant. I believe that everything happens for a reason and at an appointed time; had I given birth at 37 weeks, I would not have had enough time for my perspective to fully shift before meeting my child. While I have loved this little baby since I first found out that I was pregnant, the true longing to meet him, to hold him, and to grow to know his personality has not been at the forefront of my thoughts until recently. Up until this past week, I have hoped and prayed for my pregnancy to come to an end because of my intense discomfort. While the pain and discomfort has not changed, the main reason I am now hoping and praying for labor is simply because I feel that I cannot wait any longer to meet my baby boy.

In all my spare time this last week, I have accomplished several things, including nesting which resulted in a spotless house and a quadruple batch of Christmas cookies. Also earlier this week, I was able to have lunch with my mother. We met at Applebees in Forest Lake and spent the better part of the afternoon talking and catching up on life. I wasn't sure if we would be able to find the time to meet for lunch given the busy time of year and unpredictable nature of being pregnant, so it was a pleasant surprise that we were able to get together!

Jonathan and I went to our 38 week OB appointment this Thursday and saw a different doctor, as our normal OB was out of town. By far, this was the worst OB appointment we've been to; the doctor was extremely old, hard of hearing, and rushed through the appointment. He listened to Baby G's heart for all of five seconds and didn't give us any information about what station (how low) our little boy is currently at in my body. The most difficult part of the entire appointment however, was hearing that we have made no further progress toward labor; despite the fact that we are 38 weeks pregnant, we haven't even begun the process of dilation, a fact which left me feeling extremely discouraged as Jonathan and I exited the office and drove home.

One of my friends once called me "irrationally optimistic." That stuck with me simply because it is so frequently true in my life; I continue to hope for things, even when the circumstances surrounding those situations are not favorable. I truly didn't feel as though I was being irrationally optimistic about today's OB appointment; by 38 weeks, I thought it was reasonable to hope that I would have made progress toward labor. Apparently I am ever the irrational optimist.

Week 38 Stats for Baby G:
-Uterine Measurement: 39cm

1 comment:

  1. It's a good thing you're the irrational optimist, because I am the pessimist realist. There needs to be a balance in this world! Of all the things I have said, I wonder why that one sticks out the most. I miss you, and as much as I am not overly fond of children, I really do look forward to seeing your family of three together!

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